This past Sunday, we lit the pink candle. We’d celebrated that weekend joyously. Family came over. We made bourbon balls and played stupid games while those who opted out, watched Scrooge watch his nephew and guests play stupid parlor games. 

Ordering gifts online, we took turns wrapping gifts as they arrived, and no one felt the nag of not having done enough even though we still needed to address Christmas cards, trim the tree and find shoes for at least three people for Christmas. By Sunday Mass, I felt like we’d kept the purpose of that candle well.
Then Monday hit, and my front tire lay flat, deflating my spirits with it. I remembered the joy of the prior two days, but the busy needs of paperwork and bills and unexpected car repairs crowded out the warmth the candle brought –remembering to be joyful isn’t enough for us. 

We need to be immersed in that joy, surrounded by the warmth of Christ’s light. I also wanted the peace we’d felt only the other day, the peace the world cannot give, that comes from being in the company of those we love, and being present in their presence.
My youngest rearranged the creche to have Saint Joseph holding the baby Jesus, and Mary surrounded by lambs, all climbing over each other. The chaos of the sheep did not disturb Mary’s peace, and it was evident that Saint Joseph delighted in holding his Son. The nativity scene gave me a direct pointer as to how to act when the cares and concerns of the world got crazy (like the sheep) and how to be when in the presence of others –delighting in the encounter.
So, with that truth held firmly in the heart, here are my suggestions for how to keep the peace of Christmas amidst the chaos of preparing.

1) Go to Confession – so as to remove as much of the dark from one’s own soul as possible. It is a way to let more of Christ’s light shine through your thoughts, words and deeds.
2) Spend time in adoration. One cannot multi-task in adoration, and so one learns how to “Adore Him” when we give Christ the opportunity to gaze lovelingly at us while we learn to not look elsewhere.
3) Play instrumental and sacramental seasonal music – so as to help sustain the spirit and not become agitated by the fifteenth time they opt to play “Last Christmas” within a twenty-four hour period.
4) Light the candles. Nothing quiets the house like the advent wreath in all its real and simple reality. Light them at every meal, and you will find there is more undistracted discussion, and longer time spent at the table than at other times of the year.
5) When you write Christmas cards, say a prayer for each family, and when you receive. These annual traditions serve a purpose of reminding us, we are connected by more than whether we see each other regularly, or are related, but by Christ, by love, and by the sharing of our lives and our joy in this holiday season.
6) Make a decision to give –to a charity with both your physicali presence, and fiscal support, as a way of making someone else’s burden less, and making your own heart infinitely lighter.
7) When you make lists of things to do, make sure you put at the top of your list, “Things to do to Bring Christ to Others,” or ‘Ways to Welcome the Holy Family.” to help anchor your own mind, heart and actions in the reality of Advent.  

Sherry Antonetti, is the author of The Book of Helen, a freelancer and Catholic blogger @Patheos/Chocolate for Your Brain!