Seventy years after they exchanged vows, Vernon Hawkins Jr. and Etoile de Hawkins stood in the first pew of the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C., on Feb. 14 to renew their marriage vows and give thanks.
The couple, parishioners at St. Joseph Parish in Largo, Maryland, attended the annual Wedding Anniversary Mass sponsored by the Archdiocese of Washington’s Office of Family Life that celebrates the vocation of marriage. The Valentine’s Day liturgy drew hundreds of couples from across the archdiocese, with anniversaries ranging from newlyweds to those celebrating 70 years.
Washington Auxiliary Bishop Evelio Menjivar served as the principal celebrant at the Mass.
In a message printed in the program, Cardinal Robert W. McElroy, the archbishop of Washington, congratulated the couples and thanked them for their witness of fidelity.
“Marriage is the foundation of human society,” he wrote, describing their shared lives as a “living witness of quiet daily love” and “a sign of hope for other couples.”
“You show the world that it is in this giving of ourselves, to each other and with God, that we find the deepest meaning of our lives,” the cardinal wrote.
Bishop Menjivar opened his homily by situating the celebration within the familiar rhythms of St. Valentine’s Day.
“For weeks now, since right after Christmas, stores have been decorated with red hearts and balloons,” he said. “As the popular song from the 1970s says, ‘Love is in the air.’ And yes, love is in the air today.”
Yet he told the couples gathered before him that their presence at Mass reflected a deeper expression of love.
“You chose not only flowers and chocolates, but the Eucharist,” he said. “You chose not only a romantic dinner, perhaps later tonight, but to stand before the Lord and say once again to the God who is love: Thank you.”
For Vernon Hawkins Jr. and Etoile de Hawkins, that gratitude has spanned decades. They dated for two years before marrying and raised three children.
Asked what advice they would offer newlyweds seeking a lasting marriage, Vernon responded, “Put God first.”
“And pray,” Etoile added.
When disagreements arise, she said, they rely on “quiet moments.” During difficult seasons, they turn again to prayer.
“Pray,” they said together.
And in joyful seasons?
“Pray together,” she said.
Looking back over 70 years, Etoile said one reason their marriage endured was temperament.
“It was very easy being married to him, because he’s easygoing,” she said.
Asked whether she might be the stronger personality, she laughed and nodded.
“We balance each other in that way.”
Quoting Pope Francis’s apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia, Bishop Menjivar reminded couples that Christian marriage cannot be understood apart from Christ’s self-giving love.
“The mystery of the Christian family can be fully understood only in the light of the Father’s infinite love revealed in Christ, who gave himself up for our sake,” the bishop said.
God’s love, he added, “makes all the difference.”
Turning to the Book of Genesis, he repeated the words proclaimed in the first reading: “It is not good for man to be alone.”
From the beginning, he said, marriage is woven into God’s design for humanity. Man and woman are created in God’s image and brought together as companions — “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” — called to complement one another.
“Your marriage is part of God’s loving plan for you, for the Church and for society,” he told the couples.
When they stood before the altar — whether one month ago or 70 years ago — they entered what he called a sacred covenant, drawn into “God’s mysterious and creative love.”
“Every day since then,” he said, “you have been living out that ‘yes’ in small and great ways, in joyful and challenging times. And with God’s grace, you have remained faithful.”
Citing St. Paul’s exhortation in the day’s second reading, Bishop Menjivar pointed to the language of intention.
“Put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience,” he said. “And over all these, put on love.”
He paused on the phrase.
“Notice St. Paul says ‘put on,’” the bishop said. “Love is something we choose daily. It is not just something we fall into. Love is something we put on, like a garment, and it becomes a second skin.”
In that image, he suggested, love is not accidental or fleeting, but deliberate and enduring.
“Love is more of a conscious decision than an accident,” he said. “It is a decision that must be renewed daily and in every circumstance.”
Michael and Barbara Greene of Our Lady of the Presentation Parish in Poolesville, Maryland, marked 50 years of marriage. They have been together for 55 years and first met in Washington when Michael Greene was serving in the military as a helicopter pilot.
Asked the best thing about being married, Barbara did not hesitate.
“He’s my best friend,” she said.
Michael smiled. “Yes,” he added. “She’s my best friend.”
Their story began with a small gesture his wife never forgot.
“When I first walked in the room, he stood up,” Barbara recalled. “All the other men were sitting. That’s what attracted me — he was a gentleman.”
Michael said he knew early.
“I knew as soon as I met her,” he said.
Asked what advice they would offer young couples, Michael Greene pointed to what sustained their marriage over five decades: compromise and communication.
“A lot of give and take. And communication is the key,” he said.
Their daughter, Allie Greene, attended the Mass with her fiancé, Cordell Walters. The couple will marry Aug. 28 in Montana.
Allie, a cradle Catholic, said shared values drew her to her future husband.
“We align on a lot of important things in the world,” she said. “I knew he could be a great husband and father to my future children.”
Walters was baptized Lutheran and is preparing to enter the Catholic Church through the Order of Christian Initiation of Adults. Reflecting on their relationship, he said, “Every moment I have is better when she’s there.”
The couple is preparing for marriage through Pre-Cana formation and said they draw encouragement from their parents’ long marriages. Walters’ parents have been married 36 years.
Ronald and Monica Wormsley of St. Margaret of Scotland Parish in Capitol Heights, Maryland, marked 52 years of marriage. After dating about two years, they built a life together and raised three children.
Asked what they value most about marriage, Monica pointed to companionship.
“The camaraderie, the laughter, and the joy that we get every day,” she said.
Ronald emphasized communication and shared activity.
“You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but you need to make sure you’re doing something,” he said. “We involved ourselves in a lot of local community activities.”
When asked what advice they would offer young families navigating the demanding years of raising children, Monica said couples should resist the temptation to postpone joy and spending time together as a couple.
“Keep setting aside time for each other while you’re raising them,” she said. “Don’t wait and say, ‘We’ll focus on us when they get older.’ You can still have joy in those busy years. Always make time for one another along the way.”
Ronald returned again to communication.
“Making sure there’s open communication,” he said. “And making sure you’re doing things together.”
Near the end of his homily, Bishop Menjivar turned to the Gospel.
“You are the light of the world. You are the salt of the earth. And your light must shine before others,” he said.
In a culture, he noted, where commitment can feel fragile and relationships can seem disposable, enduring marriages offer a visible alternative.
“Your faithfulness shines like a city set on a hill,” he said.
He compared long marriages to historic European cities — built not overnight, but over centuries, on strong foundations and sustained by those who continue to care for them.
“Because of that, they still stand,” he said. “Your marriage does the same.”
“These silver and golden jubilees are living icons of perseverance. They are like historical monuments — towers of fidelity. No matter how many times repairs were needed, they are still standing.”
“Your ‘yes’ to love is a great example of the presence of God among you — in good times and in difficult times,” he said.
